The default IM program is pretty awful at staying on. Is that what you were using? I would try out Meebo, Hello IM!, or AIMer. The first of the three works really well for me, but I hear that the latter two stay on for long/until you sign off as well.

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I even went through the trouble of unrooting my phone because I thought the default IM worked better, oh well guess I'll just reroot when I get a chance.
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